Dealing with unsupportive (significant) other on your weight loss journey

Have you ever decided you were fed up being "fat" or overweight? Ever resolve that you are going to make a change no matter what to lose the kgs… BUT your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend and so on weren’t on board? Believe me, I’ve been there! Well my family were supportive just few friends and acquaintances weren’t.


This is naysayers ALERT! Not all family and friends are going to be supportive of your decision to lose weight…

Some may doubt you; at your back even tell you to your face “She will soon get tired, Na today?” They will ridicule you and find errors in your effort. They will tease you on how that’s not African woman look and laugh about how sickly you now look and you will be the topic of their discussions everywhere they go.

Some may become jealous. Some people often feel as if they wish they could do the same, but they’re not quite invested or ready in the process.  Weight loss jealousy can accumulate when you continue to lose weight and, feel great and sexy.  Individuals handle this jealousy in a different ways—ignoring your now figure and not congratulating you, making fun of the weight-watcher, purposely putting you in tempting situations or simply getting irritated as you continue to lose weight. Hmmm, I have had an acquaintance who took it personal on my weight loss, telling it doesn’t fit me, I was like "my body kwa! Shuu!" Some even taunted me on social media on how they prefer the old stuffed thanksgiving turkey-looking me (naa! erm… drink wate-on all day everyday LOL joking) 

And concerned others, well their feelings could be genuine. These are the ones who tell you “you are getting too skinny”, quit! (You may not have reached your goal o!) or your spouse or boyfriend who wants you to be ‘voluminous’ for him. Your spouse could be concerned about the attraction you get from the opposite sex or boyfriend is afraid when you lose weight…you will leave him.
These are actually very frustrating for the weight-watcher —but the relationship between a weight-watcher and his/her family and friends is a very important one.

Going through a weight loss journey is difficult —you have to be confident, resilient, disciplined, driven, dedicated, persevere and diligent.  But a weight loss journey can be even more difficult when family and friends are unsupportive. Without a strong support system, the likelihoods to losing weight or getting fit reduce quite dramatically. Thus, here are ways to lose weight unsupportive (significant) others on your journey. 

Support and love yourself first, then determine who you’re losing weight for. Are you considering becoming fit and healthy and pleasing yourself or your significant other?

Discuss with your significant other. Express how you feel and let them know why you want to embark on a weight loss journey. And if the one of the others happens to be your husband, you have to apply lots of wisdom and not start a fight. Trust me, your spouse wants you to be healthy and fit, he could be just scared your new figure might affect your relationship in a negative way. It is your responsibility to reassure him in actions and words that he is safe. Please don’t pick a fight, that will simply aggravate the matter and he will do anything within his capability as the MAN to keep you fat.

Speak with your spiritual advisor/mentor/motivator or therapy Seek. If the situation is deeper than you losing weight, seeking advice of someone who had been in same dilemma or the help of a professional may be the best bet.

Go social! Find support outside of your home. There are various facebook groups, weight loss forums you can join to help you succeed. Hook up with someone in the group and motivate each other through emails, instant chat or meet-up for lunch or dinner if you live close by.

Invite the significant other to join your healthy lifestyle. Ask them to join you in getting fit and healthy. A family that get fit together, stays together right?!... 

Give them time. Seriously, they’re losing their junk food buddy and/or they’re angry at themselves because you are doing what they haven’t been able to do, have seen you attempt and failed several times and they are not convinced it’s going to work out or be different this time, simply concerned of the relationship when you lose. Reassure them and keep working it!  

 …because in the end, you will WIN! You have become a mentor to the naysayers; they look to you for advice, guidance and respect your opinion dearly.

For those of you who have a family member or loved one, friend going through a weight loss journey, I encourage you to be supportive no matter what.  If you have a target (be it career, financial or even a fitness), you would want support, right?  Then why not do the same for him/her trying to lose weight? All I’m saying is support is everything! It can break or make weight loss goals! And yeah, relationships and friendships too. 

If it weren’t for support systems like family and friends, I, we wouldn’t have the incredible weight loss story to share with people today. Have in mind the great ways to encourage and motivate individuals during a weight loss journey is to be the support system they need and love!!!